Friday, February 22


"The Quest For A New Ultimate Carry-all That Resembles My Fave Bag From The Spring '07 Runway of Derek Lam, But Not Resembling In A Counterfeit Sort Of Way, And Also Only Costs $100...Make it $50"

Miami Beach circa 2007

Long story short...........I didn't find shit! Excuse my German. But really, how frustrating that I find myself to be the ultimate sale shopper (proof of which will be in tomorrow's post) and during mega pre-holiday sales here in Miami Beach, I came home after a soothing (yes, I said soothing because shopping is a massage for me) day of shopping sprees galore...........empty-handed, as in no new fabulous handbag to call my own. I do indeed blame this on the fact that chain stores change their merchandise like once every lunar eclipse. Ok that's not true.........maybe being unemployed...or self-employed rather (*cough* they run along the same lines no?) has had a traumatic affect on my ability to know because I hear you need money to actually take the items out of the stores, otherwise it is know as shoplifting or something like that.....hmmm (but wait a minute, wasn't Ms. Shoplift Universe on the cover of Vogue's August cover all swathed in Vera Wang and Vuitton? maybe Anna Wintour is sending us all a message!....those who steal shall be rewarded with a complimentary career booster).

So anyway, after involuntarily (not really) taking a step into my one-stop-knockoff-shop, in which was stocked to the wine rim glass with adolescent Bettsyville patent wristlets and nothing else worth noting, I hopped over to 'Never Disappoints Me When Strapped For Cash' Urban Outfitters, and what did they do? Freaking disappoint me that's what! Not only did the inventory bore me out of my mind with all these bologna canvas totes that scream "I'm a tourist with nowhere to place my paper camera and Havana flip flops," but they have all the merchandise I've been eyeing on their online store that's actually on sale there (but then you pay shipping so what's the big whoop?). So I drag myself over to Zara after refueling on T.G.I. Friday's brownie obsession sundae yet again (they don't call it obsession for nothing....its another reason I'm no longer size O...or 2...or 4...or) and dresses, then there it was, gleaming ever so brightly on the top shelf. A plane? A bird? No dimwit, a patent leather, quilted, two-tone handbag. Oh yes!...Oh no, way overpriced with only two size options: McDonald's super-size or Apple Ipod nano-size. Cmon! So after mind wrestling with my budget-conscious alter ego, I agreed two hundred bucks wasn't so bad if I promised to take care of it, maybe even Windex it and stuff. So just as I forced myself to settle for the grey, a color I don't care too much for on everyday use, my fiance pops over (well hello, what did you think? I was financing this new wardrobe myself? Ha!) yelping that the black version was soooo much better. Of course it was! I love black, I'm New Yorkan. But low and behold, they sold out of black in super-size the day before. Shit.

It comes down to this: The new signature bag and its little sister (all $298 of it) at BCBG is still my fave in the quilted trend department, and if any of those sales persons value their lives, they will arrange to have one miraculously show up on my doorstep......I mean it!